When your children were young, you never imagined that you would have to have this conversation. After all, they used to love pulling their own weight whether they were filling up the wheelbarrow or helping set the family dinner table. Now, you are sad to say that your adult child is failing to launch. They may even be hurting the farm financially by ignoring their duties or overspending from the family accounts. Dealing with freeloaders is never easy, and it is especially hard to be tough when they are your own family. However, you can give your kid that nudge they need to succeed in life without damaging your family ties.
Be Gentle But Honest
In many cases, freeloaders are unaware of the damaging effect of their behavior. It is also common for freeloading to begin when an adult child moves back home and takes advantage of the comforts of home, or your child may be afraid of stepping on your toes by taking on too much responsibility. Either way, it’s time to get it out in the open, and honesty truly is the best policy for finding a resolution.
Recruit Backup
Denial and anger are common responses from someone who is being confronted about not pulling their weight. Ask your spouse or another member of your family to come to the meeting for support. Seeing that more than one person views their behavior as intolerable may shift your loved one’s mindset. If the conversation gets too heated, end it and return to it later when everyone is more calm.
Define Your Expectations
Just accusing someone of being a freeloader does little to improve the situation. You must make it clear what you want to happen. For instance, you could give your adult child a set date to move out, or you could give a young farmer a list of daily duties that they are responsible for carrying out. Defining your expectations lets the freeloader know that you are serious, and it gives a clear roadmap for how to mend the relationship.
Freeloading is a common issue that occurs in farm families, and the very closeness of your relationship leaves room for it to be abused. For more ways to keep your farm family running smoothly, contact us today.
