Marriage is hard work in and of itself. Financial decisions, lifestyle choices, and parenting require time, energy, and strong communication. Working together, especially on a farm, can make sustaining a healthy marriage feel impossible sometimes. And a divorce for a farm couple can be devastating when both parties are attached to the land and the business.
What can you and your spouse do to make sure your bond – and your farm business – grows instead of wilts?
1. Divide responsibilities. Instead of trying to make every single farm decision together, figure out where you each have strengths and weaknesses, and split up the responsibilities accordingly. You might be better at managing employees while your spouse shines at handling sales. Or you might love doing the daily livestock chores while your spouse enjoys equipment maintenance. This doesn’t mean you’ll never consult each other or have to make joint decisions, but knowing who’s in charge of a specific job prevents power struggles and miscommunications.
2. Stay on the same page. It might seem like you don’t need to have formal meetings when you’re married to your business partner – you know what they’re thinking, right? Not always. It’s a good idea to have at least one serious planning meeting each year, preferably in the off season, to make sure you and your spouse agree about the budget, priorities, and any changes that need to happen on the farm. Better to talk through any potential conflicts in January than have a clash at the peak of the season.
3. Make time for your marriage. If you manage a farm with your spouse, you probably spend a lot of time together. But working together in the field isn’t enough to keep your relationship strong – you need time when you can be focused on each other rather than the farm. Try to carve out some time for a weekly date, or at least designate one meal per day where you avoid talking about the farm.
Above all, make sure to communicate with your partner, on and off the farm. For more information about keeping the farm in the family, contact us.
