Sibling rivalry can start early, and once the seeds of discontent have been sown between siblings, it often gets worse before it gets better — if it gets better at all. The question of who inherits the farm has split families apart and created irreconcilable differences between brothers and sisters who were once best friends. But even if you simply cannot split up the family estate, you can take steps now to prepare your children for the future, and to stay close no matter who inherits.
Raise Them to Know Who Gets to Keep the Farm
When the time comes to open up your will, there should be no surprises. Farm kids who are raised knowing what to expect are more likely to stay close even after the farm passes on to their older sibling.
Make a Provision for Transference
If at all possible, put a provision in your will that allows your heir to transfer the farm to another sibling. In all likelihood, that won’t happen, but life is strange and you will want the farm to stay in the family if your inheritor decides to pursue a different lifestyle.
Be Watchful for Signs of Sibling Rivalry Now
All siblings fight with one another from time to time, but as a parent, you can show them how to work through their problems. If the estate is going to your oldest child, the second one may struggle with feelings of always being second-best. Take the time to make him or her feel special on a regular basis, by spending quality time together doing something that he or she wants to do.
Strive for Honesty
The single most telling sign that a sibling relationship will stay strong no matter what is honesty. Teach your children to be honest with you and with one another, to have open conversations about the things that really matter, and to confront their own fears and feelings. The best way to teach honesty? Model it for them.
Keeping the family farm intact is a hard decision, because it can feel like you have to choose between the farm and the family. But working now to prepare your children for the eventuality that, one day, one will inherit and the rest won’t can give your children the strength they need to deal with that when the time comes. Get in touch with AgriLegacy to learn more about keeping the farm in the family.
