Boundaries means more than the fence line separating your property from your neighbor’s property. In psychological terms, a boundary is anything that marks a limit. The limit can refer to whether someone is treating you well or treating you abusively. In farm families, boundaries need to be set to determine good behavior and behavior that needs to be changed. Let’s give an example.
Fred is a farmer getting along in years. He wants to enjoy his golden years on the farm with his family. He has a son who is willing to take over the farm. But there is some friction between Fred and his son. Fred needs to set some firm boundaries. They might look like this:
- I’m going to live in this old house as long as I can. If you take over the farm, you’re going to have to put up with me.
- I want to keep the farm in the family. That means I’ll do what I can to make things easier for you.
- We’ll have to settle all the paperwork and make things legal. I won’t retire until that’s all taken care of.
- You can modernize the farm if you want, but I can’t help you if you accumulate more debt than this farm can handle.
By letting his son know where he stands on certain issues, Fred is giving him boundaries. His son can either stay within Fred’s boundaries or suffer the consequences of living outside the boundaries.
Boundaries must be reinforced with consequences. These are not necessarily punishments; they are ways to protect yourself. For instance, if Fred’s son is lazy and doesn’t want to do all the paperwork necessary to take over the farm, Fred can refuse to sell it to him. He then has to rethink how he wants to protect himself and his family farm.
If you are wondering how to set good boundaries concerning the legacy of your farm, please contact AgriLegacy right away. We are here to assist you!
